When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
It's Breast Cancer Awareness Month!!!! What random hook up should check my tata's this year?!?!
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
Let's say we can see the evolution of our "relation" by his name in my phone. Pizza slice emoticone. Pizza guy. Jordan. Jo. Jackhammer Pizza Guy. Jockhammer pizza guy.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
