Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
she peed on how many people?
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
going to a night class in lingerie so i can quickly go to his house after.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
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