ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I'm returning our mountain of beer cans, while wearing a Budweiser sweatshirt. i don't look like an alcoholic.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Randomize
