Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Now if u will excuse me I have to go prep my vagina for this amazing sex filled weekend I'm about to encounter
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Randomize
