Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
It was confusing and full of hummus
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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