I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
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