windsor, ontario is like a poor man's amsterdam
no, it is just poor
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
I wasn’t trying, but work got a lot easier and more fun once he starred flirting with me and looking at my ass
Randomize
