Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize
