Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
