If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
My google history for last night included "Whre is johns house" and "wher can i buy nukes?" Pretty sure they're related to one another.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
Randomize