My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
i think i have two assholes
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
Randomize
