Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
You know, finding my first grey pube at 34 is FAR more distressing than finding that first grey hair at 13.
I DO NOT FUCKING WANT OR NEED THIS INFORMATION!
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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