Just saw actual Chinese people doing a Chinese firedrill. Good day.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
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