the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
Now would be a great time to stop wondering " Who let the dogs out" and go to sleep
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
Randomize
