No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
