You don't have asthma, your pregnant
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
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