I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Please sleep at your girlfriend's tonight
Why?
'Cause I wanna jack off tonight.. And you being in the room makes things awkward
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I also need to get my life together but instead I just eat spoonfuls of Nutella. We can't win 'em all
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
