I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
