You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
Me either. I want to get 'chase a stray cat through the neighborhood in my hooker heels' drunk. And it's your birthday, so you have to get 'best friend holding your hair while you puke in the bar bathroom and cry about your life' drunk. In a feather boa.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
