for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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