Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
Define "chronic" masturbator.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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