OMG I just tried to text you something dirty but accidentally texted the obama campaign
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
The Adderall says yes, but my body says no.
Randomize
