A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
