SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
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