so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
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