the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
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