Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
Can you plz delete the video of me twerking in Waffle House, my mom just got a vine.
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
