I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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