he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
If anyone from work finds out about us I will rip your dick off, sew it to your forehead and feed your balls to you like little grapes
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
