JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
