16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
Randomize
