This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
So squirting runs in the family.
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
