Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
she hacked my macbook and downloaded an illegal version of the original pokemon red, completely nude in my computer chair. there were several levels of hornyness existing all at once
Should we go get some celebratory "I'm not pregnant" tacos?
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
