Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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