i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
First time at a gay bar. I found a surrogate AND sperm donor! The surrogate is straight, so it evens out.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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