Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
two words...techno handjob
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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