Just saw my neighbor passed out in his front yard, leg stretching into the road. Full beer in his hand.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Have you SEEN his girlfriend?? Or talked to her? Christ almighty I'd drink every day just to die let alone black out
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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