i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
She seriously pointed at the couch and asked me if she could "ride the talking giraffe". I'll never serve everclear again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
Randomize
