I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
i feel like the song jizz in my pants was made for him.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
One good thing about being a mom now, I can tell which guys I'm dating were breastfed and which weren't... By the way they latch on to my breast during sex! Kinda kills the mood.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
Randomize
