I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I call bullshit
Call it what ever you want I just need to figure out how to get permanent marker off my cock
Randomize
