there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
Randomize
