Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize