he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Just cropdusted the office
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
