I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
Randomize
