Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Me and your penis are best friends. You don't know it, but I whisper my secrets whenever I give you blowjobs. We even have a secret handshake. We can't be separated from each other. We just can't.
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Randomize
