Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
first off, his name is dougie. strike one.
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Randomize
