god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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