I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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