I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Randomize
