just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
I met his dad. Turns out he was a one nighter from the nurses conference in Vegas. Not sure how to handle this one.
Clearly, you already have. Both of them.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
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