what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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