Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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