I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Randomize
