I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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