I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
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