hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my biography would be titled "haunting truths and dick jokes: a tale of love, loss, and masturbation."
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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