Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
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