just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
Randomize
