yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
You were hitting on girls while wearing the banana suit. When they rejected you you yelled "I gotta split anyway."
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize