like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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