I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
I just used my dick as to measure where my desk would go because I don't have a tape measure or a ruler.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
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