I puked a lego.
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
I'm stoned at 1030am, watching Maury with my exboyfriend. I need to make better choices with my life.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
she's a nursing student, i didn't think vomit would freak her out so much
you puked ON HER
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
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