in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
