We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
In the middle of switching positions, we shared a line of coke. It's was like a modern-day 'Lady and the Tramp.'
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
