I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Randomize
