I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
She was blowing me like a porn star and all I could think was "you just told me your grandfather is dying in hospice right now"
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Randomize
