What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Randomize
