she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I just talked to a CEO of a fortune 500 company while pooping. I LOVE being self employed.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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