Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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