Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
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