Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Note to all middle aged "I totally let myself go after childbirth" frumpy mothers: I do not dress this way for your husbands. Stop looking at me like that. It's not my fault.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
i just put all of my beerlympics medals into my academic awards box. i would say they are my greatest achievement since college.
I will fight anything that is not spinning right now
You left your underwear on the fireplace
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
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