I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Ps we ordered a pizza at the pool today and I dropped the entire thing in the pool. We still ate it. #canthang
It was a blind-side dick pic.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
Randomize
