Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
