It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Sometimes you just need a break, and sometimes you also need to get stoned on these breaks. I sound like some kind of fucked up mr rogers when I say shit like that.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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